Worried All the Time? Here's What Your Anxiety Might Be Trying to Tell You
Why Do I Feel Anxious All the Time?
Constant worry is exhausting, but you may be surprised to know worry is typically not random. Anxiety and worry are often your mind and body’s way of trying to communicate that something needs your attention.
If your thoughts feel like they’re on a never-ending loop, you are not alone. Many people I work with describe their experience with phrases like:
“My brain won’t shut off.”
“I’m overthinking everything, all the time.”
“I can’t stop overthinking at 3 AM.”
“It’s like my mind is spiralling.”
“I’m constantly waiting for something to go wrong.”
Similarly, as you may have already noticed, the more we try to distract ourselves and ignore or avoid our anxiety, the louder it tends to get. That’s because emotions such as anxiety serve as signals to let us know that something needs our attention, and the more we ignore it, the louder the signal becomes. I often like to use the example of a puppy; if we were to ignore a puppy (though I am not sure how), the puppy tries to get our attention even more. Similarly, anxiety is not something we should attempt to shut down or push away; rather, it is something we should listen to!
When we stop viewing anxiety as an enemy and instead view it as a friend trying to inform us of something, it often feels heard and quiets down on its own.
What Is My Anxiety Trying to Tell Me? How Listening Is a Form of Self-Care
Instead of asking ourselves “How do I get rid of this anxiety?” and trying to distract ourselves or ignore it, try pausing, turning towards it and saying:
Hello, anxiety…
“What are you trying to tell me today?”
“What do you need to feel safe?”
These questions don’t just bring emotional clarity, but they are also a form of self-care. I often like to mention that true self-care isn’t just about bubble baths or vacations (though those can help). Real self-care can begin with listening to what your anxiety is asking for and responding with compassion.
For example, your anxiety might be trying to tell you:
• “I’m terrified of being judged or rejected.”
• “I’m trying to control everything because I’m afraid of what will happen if I don’t.”
• “I’m scared that I’m not good enough or that I’ll fail.”
And it may say it needs:
• “I need to slow down. I can’t keep pushing like this.”’
• “I need to talk to someone to feel supported and not alone in this.”
• “I need reassurance that it is okay not to have all the answers.”
• “I need a break.”
In this way, self-care becomes an ongoing check-in with yourself, not just something you turn to when you’re burned out. When your anxiety feels heard instead of silenced, it often begins to soften.
Anxiety is often your mind and body’s way of trying to protect you. It can be a sign that your brain is picking up on something it perceives as threatening and is working hard to keep you safe by predicting every possible outcome. When we try to ignore or push anxiety away by thinking, “I just need this to go away,” it often gets louder because its warning signal isn’t being acknowledged.
How Can I Calm the Constant Worrying?
Fortunately, we do not need to somehow “get rid of” the worrying and anxiety to feel better. Rather, we can begin to rebuild our relationship with our emotions by leaning into them and exploring them with curiosity.
Here are a few ways to start building a new relationship with our anxiety to support in calming our worry and anxiety:
Pause and breathe. Try pausing for a moment and notice what is happening in your body, such as any emotions, sensations or thoughts that are present.
Name what you’re feeling. Try labelling what you are feeling: “I’m feeling overwhelmed about everything I have to get done.”
Check in with your needs. Ask your emotions: “What are you trying to tell me?” and “What do you need right now?”
Offer yourself care. Based on what you notice, this might look like stepping outside for air, texting someone you trust, or simply taking a break.
What If I’ve Tried Everything and Still Feel Stuck?
If you feel like you have tried everything under the sun, like breathing exercises, journaling, and positive thinking, and you still feel like your brain won’t shut off, I completely understand! It might be a sign that your anxiety might be asking for something else: to be heard, understood, and met with care.
Emotionally focused therapy can help to slow down and tune into your emotions. Together in therapy, we can explore the emotional experiences that often drive your thoughts and behaviours, and begin to understand what your feelings may be trying to communicate or need.
Therapy offers a space to slow down, look inward, and unpack your mind. I work with adults in Vancouver who are looking to explore their anxiety more compassionately.
Meet Cheyenne Ling
Cheyenne provides a compassionate, trauma-informed space for healing. Specializing in anxiety, trauma, addiction, and self-esteem, she integrates CBT, emotion-focused therapy, and internal family systems to foster self-awareness and growth. With a person-centered approach, she honors each client’s unique journey, guiding them toward healing and inner harmony.
